Broken Engagements

I still follow Weddingbee, the wedding community I visited daily during my year of wedding planning.  For a few months after my wedding I couldn’t or didn’t care to look at the site, but now that both a close friend and a cousin are getting married this summer, I have weddings and wedding research back in my mind.

An interesting but very sad occurence at Weddingbee in the past few weeks is that two bloggers have announced that their weddings have been called off.  In one case, the groom-to-be got cold feet and told the bride-t0-be that he didn’t think he could hang with the whole marriage thing.  They canceled their wedding three months before it was to occur.

In another case, the bride-to-be caught wind of her fiance’s affair.  Talk about heartbreaking.  They were set to wed in June.

I’m amazed at the two bloggers’ candor, especially in a community that is mainly devoted to talk about invitations, dresses, flowers, and other (fun) wedding frivolity.  Weddingbee is a very welcoming community, but once you’re not planning or reflecting on a wedding, well, there’s no point in being a part of it anymore.  Unless it’s to pawn off your wedding purchases.  One minute you are trying to find the perfect shade for your bridesmaids’ dresses; the next you are trying to find someone to take over your deposit on a banquet hall.  

These women have brought up some very heavy issues about the meaning of marriage and commitment.  A few other ‘Bees’ have brought up relationship topics before, but man, nothing is quite as grounding as a canceled wedding or a cheating groom.

At any rate, I applaud their honesty and their connection with the community. It’s sobering but in some ways reassuring, especially when you are going through some of the hard times that everyone faces in a marriage, to be reminded that it’s not all puppies and rainbows and dyed crinolines and specialty cocktails.  It’s a weird dichotomoy we’ve created between the day of the wedding and the years and decades that follow it.  Much as I loved my wedding, I’m glad I’m past that hurdle and into the thick of it.

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