Category Archives: Wedding

Chocolate Delights

While shopping online for some bachelorette staples (i.e. penis cupcake pan) for my friend’s upcoming party, I came across this wonder:

clone a willyApparently it’s a great gift to get your bride-to-be friend for her wedding night:

With this Chocolate Clone-A-Willy kit, your bride can worship her man while enjoying a tasty treat! Each kit includes everything you need to make an exact milk chocolate replica of your favorite penis. In 4 easy steps this kit will make her wedding night truly unforgettable!

Yes, who can forget the time you pulled out the Clone-A-Willy in the heat of the moment and said ‘hold that thought while I make a chocolate replica of your dick.’  Honestly my biggest problem with this gift (aside from the obvious creepiness of making an edible version of someone’s wang) is that it’s milk chocolate.  Seriously.  If you’re gonna go there, use dark chocolate.

If if this elementary-school-arts-and-crafts-looking chocolate thong (for him) is any indication, I’m guessing the Clone-A-Willy is a waste of $29.95:



Me Oh My Oh

This is embarrassing. I was looking for a certain photo in my files and I came across some photos from last year, when wedding planning was my raison d’être. It’s so weird to think back on the year leading up to last June – wedding planning ruled my thoughts and dominated most weekends. I can’t exactly say it was a waste, because I loved my wedding, but gosh, how strange to think that this time last year I was studying up on butter cream vs. ganache, and staying up late worrying if my Flattering Me low-back bustier would indeed come through for me on the big day, or if I should go the sticky silicone route.

I applaud those of you who plan low-key weddings. I really do. I’ve written about this before, but while I think some traditional aspects of weddings are great (wearing a pretty white dress, gathering all your friends and family together, eating and drinking and dancing), others cause needless worry. One of those areas is makeup. I’m not a big wearer of makeup, and because of (or in spite of) this, the task of choosing how to do my wedding day makeup kinda stressed me out. I decided to do what’s called, in the wedding world, a makeup trial. I went to a makeup artist in a nice salon in Berkeley and paid $60 to get made up like this:


All I can say is, I’m glad I tried this lady out before I paid her to make me up like (in the words of my husband) a 19-year-old Latina’s MySpace photo.  Why she felt the need to brush my eyebrows upwards and then shellac them elludes me. Needless to say, I wasn’t digging the thick black eyeliner, liner on the outside of my lips, and pinkish lipstick.  This, I thought, is why the idea of someone else doing my makeup freaks me out.

I decided to do another trial, this time at an Aveda store.  I figured that I would then buy some products and either make myself up or entrust a friend.  Here’s a photo from that session:


Yes, both photos were taken by me, in my car.  Hawt.  As you may also be able to tell, facial symmetry doesn’t really run in my family. This session was much more promising.  It made me even try to recreate the look at home:

img_5218Which was not terribly hard.  HOWEVER, makeup nerves got the best of me, and I did yet ANOTHER trial with a co-worker of mine, who offered her services to me.  I can’t seem to find the photos of that session, and it’s all for the best since I consumed too much wine that night and suddenly found the idea of photographing the outcome gut-bustingly absurd. The good news is, my co-worker came through for me in the end.  My wedding day makeup was, in my opinion, pretty close to perfect.

Here she is applying it the morning of:

img_0124-1 img_0099-1And the final product:

img_0186Not the cutest face I’ve ever made, but for some reason the only closeup I can find of my face, before the lipstick faded.  At any rate, makeup was one of my main worries, and either I got really lucky (which I think I did, in having a very talented friend do my makeup for free) or it wasn’t such a big deal afterall.

Broken Engagements

I still follow Weddingbee, the wedding community I visited daily during my year of wedding planning.  For a few months after my wedding I couldn’t or didn’t care to look at the site, but now that both a close friend and a cousin are getting married this summer, I have weddings and wedding research back in my mind.

An interesting but very sad occurence at Weddingbee in the past few weeks is that two bloggers have announced that their weddings have been called off.  In one case, the groom-to-be got cold feet and told the bride-t0-be that he didn’t think he could hang with the whole marriage thing.  They canceled their wedding three months before it was to occur.

In another case, the bride-to-be caught wind of her fiance’s affair.  Talk about heartbreaking.  They were set to wed in June.

I’m amazed at the two bloggers’ candor, especially in a community that is mainly devoted to talk about invitations, dresses, flowers, and other (fun) wedding frivolity.  Weddingbee is a very welcoming community, but once you’re not planning or reflecting on a wedding, well, there’s no point in being a part of it anymore.  Unless it’s to pawn off your wedding purchases.  One minute you are trying to find the perfect shade for your bridesmaids’ dresses; the next you are trying to find someone to take over your deposit on a banquet hall.  

These women have brought up some very heavy issues about the meaning of marriage and commitment.  A few other ‘Bees’ have brought up relationship topics before, but man, nothing is quite as grounding as a canceled wedding or a cheating groom.

At any rate, I applaud their honesty and their connection with the community. It’s sobering but in some ways reassuring, especially when you are going through some of the hard times that everyone faces in a marriage, to be reminded that it’s not all puppies and rainbows and dyed crinolines and specialty cocktails.  It’s a weird dichotomoy we’ve created between the day of the wedding and the years and decades that follow it.  Much as I loved my wedding, I’m glad I’m past that hurdle and into the thick of it.

eHarmony: Gay is OK

According to the LA Times, eHarmony is going to start allowing same-sex matches on its dating site. eHarmony has been known for its policy of only allowing hetero matches up until now, and this ignited a controversy over at Weddingbee when it announced its sale to eHarmony in October.  Though the change apparently comes as a result of a settlement with a member who filed a complaint with the company, at least it’s a step in the right direction (albeit a forced step).

Though I find the site kind of awful for reasons unrelated to its historic stance on gays, I do believe in equal rights.  Let all of us, gay, straight, bisexual, and transgendered be allowed to participate in whatever super lame dating sites we choose!

We’ll see if this is enough of a change to get Mrs. Gingerbread and Mrs. Hummingbird, and other LGBT or LGBT-sympathetic ‘Bees’ to resume blogging about their weddings once again on Weddingbee.  Interesting timing too, what with all the outcry over the passing of Prop 8 here in California.  What do you think?

Travel Dreams Dashed

So even before the salary cut was official, we decided to cancel our trip to South Africa. Again, not a life-altering event (like losing your job and savings in stock market crash), but a bummer. I guess we will have to have a belated-belated-honeymoon.

Wedding Reception Table ‘Numbers’

I bought fourteen adorable animal portraits from Berkley Illustration to use as table ‘numbers’ at my wedding. I didn’t use words of any kind to tell people where to sit (aside from their names), just pictures.  (see Exhibits A-B).

Exhibit A:

Find your escort card

Find your escort card

Exhibit B:

Find your table

Find your table

Now I’ve finally gotten around to hanging some of them up in my apartment (see Exhibits C-D).

Exhibit C:

Exhibit D:

What do you think?

We Can Make it Shine…

If I could marry myself*, this is definitely the song I’d choose for the first dance:

And here’s an adorable couple living my dream:

*I married someone else instead. We learned a lindy hop dance and our song was Bobby Darin’s version of “I’m Beginning to See the Light.”